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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260441">the flowers upside down in our dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushings/pseuds/blushings'>blushings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:13:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushings/pseuds/blushings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Glancing up, he finds Jeongin smiling. Hyunjin’s heart tightens at the sight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the flowers upside down in our dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>first, tysm mari for being my beta-reader!! 🖤🖤 second, idk if i have any dedicated readers but if I do HIII long time no see 😁😁 hope you enjoy this lil fic bc i'm doing my best to get back into the groove of writing</p>
<p>title from exits by foals</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hyunjin runs his hand through the grass. The blades feel rough, making him pull back his hand and he decides he’ll just admire the grass as the wind blows. Looking at where he’s sitting, Hyunjin notices he’s on a flowery sheet. Somehow it’s familiar, yet not. It makes him feel comfortable and at peace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside him is a picnic basket. The top is open and inside is endless amounts of food, specifically fruit. Hyunjin reaches in and pulls out a cluster of purple grapes. His mouth waters as he is about to eat a piece when someone nudges his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing up, he finds Jeongin smiling. Hyunjin’s heart tightens at the sight. Without needing to be told, Hyunjin breaks off a grape and feeds it to Jeongin. He giggles mid-chew, falling into Hyunjin’s lap. Hyunjin’s heart feels like it’s trying to escape from his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do we have blackberries?” Jeongin asks, his voice sounding like the lightest whisper Hyunjin has heard. He nods though, reaching back into the basket to find the blackberries. He feeds one to himself (Jeongin whines, tugging at his shirt because <em>hey, I asked for that first</em>) then gently places one in Jeongin’s mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s careful chewing so he doesn’t choke. The sun is beaming down right into his eyes so he keeps his eyes closed, squinting. Hyunjin moves his hand to make a shadow over Jeongin’s eyes, letting him open them again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Jeongin’s voice is still distant, quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s no problem. Anything for you,” Hyunjin responds. His voice is the opposite of Jeongin’s. It sounds fine, normal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wind blows, rustling the tall grass that surrounds them in the field. Wasn’t the grass a little shorter a minute ago? Hyunjin stares at it, trying to remember. Hm, doesn’t really matter, he thinks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something pokes on the outside of his cheek and he turns to find Jeongin kneeling next to him. Now he has round sunglasses and a jean jacket. It makes Hyunjin realize how cold he is, hands rubbing his now sweatshirt covered arms. The sun is still shining, but now it’s no longer warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at this,” Jeongin says, bringing a red carnation in front of him. “I found it on the way here and thought of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His quiet voice doesn’t catch Hyunjin off guard, but what Jeongin said reached into Hyunjin’s chest to strum on his heartstrings as he accepts the flower from his best friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin is almost always thinking of Hyunjin and Hyunjin is aware of it. The way he texts him every day whenever he has free time, which is almost… Always. The other day Jeongin sent him a Spotify playlist with all the songs that remind him of Hyunjin. He called Jeongin two hours after listening to the playlist, crying about how much he loved it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At this moment though, Hyunjin doesn’t know why he’s close to tears. Some tears roll down his cheeks, landing in the petals. Jeongin’s fingers are suddenly on his face, wiping away the wetness. His touch feels so feather-like.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin looks up to Jeongin then tries reaching out to him but his hand goes right through him. Jeongin doesn’t seem fazed, still wiping away Hyunjin’s tears. Jeongin’s expression looks… sympathetic. At least that’s what he thinks. Hyunjin definitely knows he’s not smiling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun leaves the sky. It was already cold but now with the sun gone, it feels… lonely. Hyunjin looks around and sees how sad the green grass is. His heart and shoulders are so overwhelmingly heavy. His eyes land back on Jeongin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t leave.” The words come out of his mouth on their own accord. Hyunjin tries to figure out why he would say that, but nothing is coming to mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Jeongin whispers. “I’ll be with you always.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More tears escape and Jeongin’s feather-like touch turns into actual pressure on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin rubs his eyes and he’s in bed now. His shared bed with Jeongin, his boyfriend of five years. Said boyfriend is awake with concern written all over his face as he wipes Hyunjin’s tears with his sweater sleeve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, are you okay? You were crying some so I wiped them away. Were you having a nightmare?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I -” Trying to speak hurts. Hyunjin’s throat is raw as if he was wailing for hours. His dream comes rushing back and he can’t help the pain and tears that rush back. Before he can even cover his face, Jeongin is pulling him into a hug. One hand goes to his head and the other to his back to gently rub in circles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin’s face is in Jeongin’s chest as he sobs <em>please don’t leave me</em> and <em>don’t go</em>. He still doesn’t understand why he’s saying it, but the heaviness from the dream followed him. It seeped in perfectly, like slime in a carpet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin doesn’t let up with comforting. Hyunjin hears him switch between <em>shh, shh, it’s okay</em> and <em>I won’t. I’m here</em>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin feels snot coming out of his nose, so he pulls away while covering his face and asks for tissues. Jeongin turns around to reach for the tissue box resting on the nightstand and hands them to Hyunjin. First and foremost, he blows his nose then wipes away any excess. Secondly, he wipes away his own tears but every time he recalls the dream, the fear, the loneliness… The tears and snot return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin reassuringly rubs his knee. “Do you want to talk about it? The nightmare?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin thinks back to it. It was nothing like a nightmare. If anything, it was sweet. But the end of the dream says otherwise. Hyunjin explains the dream to him in detail. Jeongin stays quiet, nodding along.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Hyunjin finishes, Jeongin asks, “Does it feel like that? In real life?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like what?” Hyunjin’s throat hurts more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No matter how close I am--mentally or physically--does it still feel like I’m far away?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin goes to say no, but… does it? He tries thinking back yet nothing is coming to mind so he settles on, “Not that I’m aware of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin picks up Hyunjin’s hand, playing with his fingers. They stay quiet for a moment. Jeongin offering physical affection, Hyunjin thinking. He remembers when Jeongin moved away in high school after years of being attached at the hip and they stayed in contact. Most of their time talking was also while they were playing video games. Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized he liked Jeongin, but he’s positive it was around then. Jeongin had ended up returning at the beginning of Hyunjin’s second year at his university.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin’s fingers wrap around Jeongin’s, squeezing gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think,” Hyunjin starts, getting Jeongin’s attention again. “I think I’m still scared one day we’ll be separated again. It’s kind of always at the back of my mind now that I think about you. I don’t want to lose you, Jeongin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leaning over, Jeongin gently grasps Hyunjin’s chin as he kisses his cheek then his lips. Hyunjin kisses back, his other hand flying to Jeongin’s neck pulling him closer. They part, Jeongin dotting kisses all over his face. A couple of tears fall, making Hyunjin’s eyes sting a little. Jeongin wipes them away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you. No matter how hard your mind tries to make you think that I will. I’ll only leave if you ask.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’s definitely not happening any time soon,” Hyunjin responds, making both of them giggle.</span>
</p>
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